My car would say one of several things: "Pleeease let me die!!" or "I just want to be loved!!" or "Pleasse fix me up, I know I'm ugly now, but give me a chance, I'll be good to you!!" or "I hate you too." lmao.
"hurry up and paint the other 3 wheels you lazy tool bag!"
"i want a real sterio, not that $30 POS you got a bestbuy"
"please clean all this dog hair out"
"!!!!!!I DEMAND YOU CLEAN MY ENGINE BAY!!!!!!!"
"fix that crack in my header please, i promise ill stop bogging"
mine would say "quit running me into shit! (half asleep morning comute), fix my rusting rear quarter panel, fix my leaky valve guids, replace my clutch, and for the love of god fix my damn rock hard worn out every bump feels 12" deep suspention!
mine would say:
'what the fuck i look like a truck get me some coilovers bitch!'
'why'd you use that brush at the car wash, it left scars you mother fucka!'
'Im glad you warm me up 5 mins before i get driven.... asshole'
'Im an auto not a manny so quit shifting into neutral at every stop damn it!'
'why did you let that black kid drive me? fuckin broke a control arm you bastard when i got slammed on that curb going 40! trade me in now! i hate you!"