This is NOT a dumb question. LOTS of automotive harness connections are very difficult to unclip, especially after a few years have made them inflexible and brittle. Usually there is a little tab to press in, so one must press in WHILE pulling apart, not that easy. Some require a small screwdriver to press in a hidden tab. And some will break no matter what you do. I'd bet the feds made the manufacturers adapt a "safety" for connectors so they don't vibrate loose, but your issue is the result. I don't think a professional mechanic would have any better luck at this than you. Sometimes special helpers like needlenose vise-grips or bent needle-nose vise-grips can help a lot. If it does break, use cable ties or electrical tape to keep it together, the electrical continuity will still be fine.
