Many thanks to tchenku_rms13 for showing us on Carolina Nissans. Just to set this up for you guys so you dont get confused.
Black guy goes to japan to teach kids how to speak english. Nothing but hilarity ensues. One big thing is the Kancho. If you are not familiar with the Kancho...its like this.
Thats right, they stick their finger up your ass. From what this guy writes, my views of Japan have certainly changed.
http://www.outpostnine.com/editorials/teacher.html
Here ya go, best way to read it is in order. Trust me, its well worth it. Many many many funny articles.
I havent had the chance to read the rest of the editorials yet but Id recommend starting with the teaching one in the link.
Just a few paragraphs pulled from some entries.
" I hadn't had any attempts since last April. The ichinensei had just entered jr. high, and one day one boy tempted fate against me. Thanks to my trusty Kancho Sense™ I avoided getting my oil checked, but I realized that if I didn't head this shit off at the pass, I'd have to be parrying them for at least the next few months. So I turned around and chased the boy down. He was surprised, he probably didn't think I could move that fast. I caught him...I restrained him with my left hand, dropped to one knee, put my right hand back as far as I could, said "One thousand years of pain!!" in the over-blown anime style and everything, and prepared to kancho him straight to Hell. The boy was freaked out. I think tears were even streaming down his face. I don't blame him. In retrospect, I can't even imagine - you're a 12 year old Japanese boy being forcibly restrained by a large black man who is bound and determined to penetrate your ass. I would have been crying too."
"Instead, I stood there like an oaf, a Big Gaijin Target, oblivious as they gathered around me. There was a crowd of students around us, but I thought nothing of it. Suddenly, a hand emerges from the crowd and tries to grab my dick. It missed, jabbing me in the thigh. I tried to reach down and grab the culprit, but the hand disappeared into the sea of bodies as quickly as it had came. I knew, I just knew, it was from the Ultimate Kancho boy.
I looked up, and in a moment of classic 1980's TV slow motion (the last of my powers?), I saw a sea of hands moving forward, closing in on my nether-regions. "Oh shit!" I exclaimed. I jumped behind my teacher, and used her as a human shield. ....Now, I know it's not exactly honorable for me to have jumped behind a defenseless Japanese girl as the Kancho/Dick Assassins went on the offensive. But I don't care. They are coming fast and hard, and they are coming for my shit man. What else am I supposed to do?! I don't regret it, not in the least. Protect me from your evil little people, woman.
However, Ultimate Kancho boy had teleported to the other side of the classroom, and with my ass perfectly unguarded he kanchoed me. I had no idea it was coming. I yelp out in surprise, jumping out from behind my teacher. Now, I'm exposed to the mob. What happened next....I can only describe as a Japanese-Roman orgy of grabbing and poking. I was gang-kanchoed/dick grabbed."
Finally found someone as funny as Maddox (Must Read)
. He wasn't the guy, but I asked him about the Kancho Assassin move and he said it was totally true. It was funny talking to him about it.
Linear Mode
