A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write deposit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand-bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
one time at school i watched a girl try to park in a space and no joke, she backed in and out like 7 times. after the 3rd time i was rollin. then a few weeks later i watched another girl do it 5 times for one space. I laughed even harder
__________________ Club Mofo Trigger Happy MoFo
Quote:
Originally Posted by Firefly
Capt. Mal: You only have to scare him.
Jayne Cobb: Pain is scary.
when I was in 7th grade I had a girl back into me like 6 times but then I nutted and asked her to make me a sammich....when she drove off she could drive real well....at least I think she could she was screaming and trying to get dressed while she was pulling out of my driveway
__________________
Club MoFo's Offical OT Extremist
Reality is a figmant of my sick imagination 96 Sentra GLE
Location: Cola, South Carolina MoFo Status: Teh Black
Posts: 2,641
5 outta 5 It was funny but pissed me off 'cause I hate it when I'm behind that female driver.
__________________ Hendrix
"Have you heard of the chain of command? It's the chain I beat you with until you realize that I'm in command" - Firefly, Jayne. Affirmative Action MoFo
Signature edited to please Scoot
one time at school i watched a girl try to park in a space and no joke, she backed in and out like 7 times. after the 3rd time i was rollin. then a few weeks later i watched another girl do it 5 times for one space. I laughed even harder
my g/f is the worst parking lot navigator in teh werld!
my girlfriend is an awesome navigator, i mean with maps and what not. she is incredible, she finds exact distances on the fly and can figure out where we are in an instant.
but...i dunt think i'd want her driving us anywhere real far lol
my girlfriend is an awesome navigator, i mean with maps and what not. she is incredible, she finds exact distances on the fly and can figure out where we are in an instant.
but...i dunt think i'd want her driving us anywhere real far lol
I hate going somewhere with my G/F when she knows where we're going and I dont. WE'll be doing 55 and she be like turn right here, right as soon as we come up to the intersection like I'm suppose to do a 90* turn at 55. That or a mile afterwards be like, YOU MISSED YOUR TURN. I MISSED MY turn WTF?!?!
Once we were driving to lexington from her house (about 25 miles) takes me about 25 minutes to navage windy roads. took her 45. Someone called who was waiting for us and I'm like "she's driving right now but we're on our way" Damn I hate waiting, I couldn't imagine waiting for a female driver.
__________________ SE-R SpecV
Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. - Ben Franklin
It was funny but pissed me off 'cause I hate it when I'm behind that female driver.
Linear Mode
