Flying Vv

Joke Of The Day:
This woman is driving into a small town and slams on the brakes as a coyote runs across the road in front of her. Just as she regains her wits and gets ready to proceed, a cowboy runs right in front of her and catches the coyote by the hind legs and starts screwing it. "Oh my God!" she exclaims and drives into town to find the local law. She sees the local sheriff's car parked in front of the town bar. "It figures," she says as she storms inside. The first thing she notices is an old, old man with a long white beard sitting in the corner jacking-off. She runs up to the sheriff who's sitting at the bar with his drink. "What kind of sick town are you running here? I drive into town and almost run over some cowboy sodomizing an animal.... and then ...I come in here ...and see this old man in the corner jacking-off right in public!" "Well, ma'am," the sheriff slowly replies, "you don't expect him to catch a coyote at his age, do ya?"

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^^ The truth finally comes out.

 

Bumpin

I didnt think that was better than mine. They both sucked

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vector03

You two visiting the same joke sites today???

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Bumpin

A middle aged man, about 5 foot 8 inches tall, walks into a Walmart and asks where the pharmacy counter is. He is directed to it.

When he reaches it, he asks to see the pharmacist.

The pharmacist comes and the man, looking around furtively, asks quietly, "Do you sell Viagra here?"

The pharmacist answers firmly, "Yes, sir. We certainly do."

The man then asks, "Do you think I could get it over the counter?"

The pharmacist thinks for a moment and then says, "Perhaps, if you took five or six pills at once you might."

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Flying Vv

haha much better 3/5

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^^ The truth finally comes out.

 

Jujutzin

"over the counter"

HAHAHAHAHA LOL!!
4.5/5

Sno's was pretty funny too...4/5

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Bumpin

^ you mean Flyin V

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Jujutzin

oops.. my bad..

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"To bear what must be bourne...."

Spelchy

might be type-r but:

a rich man's father dies one weekend, and when talking to the funeral home he tells them to spare no expense in this being an extremely lavish funeral, to pay proper respects to his deceased father. A week after the funeral, the man recieves a bill for $12,000 and pays it right away, for all the wonderful catering, ambience, and other services provided. But then, a week later, another bill arrives from the funeral home for $120. And then, the week after, another bill for $120. And the third week, another bill arrives for $120. Confused about this, he inquires the funeral home about the problem and the home instructor replies "Well, to make the funeral as perfect as you wanted, we had to rent your father a really nice tuxedo..."

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apachewoolf

lol time to dig ol dead dad back up......
I remember when my poor ol mum was buried with a rental gown on...

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Jujutzin

1. Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: It's triplets.
Ugly: You had a vasectomy 5 years ago.

2. Good: Your wife is not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Ugly: She is a Lawyer.

3. Good: Your son is finally maturing.
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
Ugly: So are you.

4. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly: You're in them.

5. Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills.
Ugly: Your 13 year old daughter borrowed them.

6. Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than you.

7. Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Ugly: With corrections.

8. Good: The postman's early.
Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a gun.
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.

9. Good: Your son is dating someone new.
Bad: It's another man.
Ugly: He's your best friend.

10. Good: Your daughter got a new job.
Bad: As a hooker.
Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do!

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"To bear what must be bourne...."

Hendrix

4 out 5 for Over the Counter the others get a combined 2 outta 5

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Hendrix
"Have you heard of the chain of command? It's the chain I beat you with until you realize that I'm in command" - Firefly, Jayne. Affirmative Action MoFo
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