TWO OLD FRIENDS
Two old friends bumped into each other in a restaurant. One asked, "Are you still seeing that girl Helen?" "Nah," said the other, "she bled to death from gonorrhea." The first guy said, "You don't bleed to death from gonorrhea." His friend replied, "You do if you give it to me."
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Quote:
Originally Posted by apachewoolf
pssst yo token . your not black any more...there is no man
POOR NUN
One night, after a long evening of drinking, Jim was thrown out of the bar as usual. On his way home, he spotted a nun walking down the road. After looking at her for a moment, he ran over, tackled her and proceeded to beat her up. Some people passing by spotted this and called the police. As the police were pulling him away in handcuffs he looked back and said, "Hell, I thought you'd be tougher than that, Batman."
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Quote:
Originally Posted by apachewoolf
pssst yo token . your not black any more...there is no man
BABIES
A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines. The son turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Your mother can explain it to you."
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Quote:
Originally Posted by apachewoolf
pssst yo token . your not black any more...there is no man
PUT YOUR COAT ON
The husband says, "Put your coat on, I'm going to the bar." His surprised wife says, "You're taking me out for a drink?" The husband says, "Don't be silly. I'm turning off the heat."
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by apachewoolf
pssst yo token . your not black any more...there is no man
POLISH SAUSAGE
A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I'd like some Polish sausage." The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Would you, huh? Would you?" The clerk says sheepishly, "Well, no." The guy says, "Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish when I ask for Polish sausage?" The clerk replies, "Because this is Home Depot."
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by apachewoolf
pssst yo token . your not black any more...there is no man
POOR NUN
One night, after a long evening of drinking, Jim was thrown out of the bar as usual. On his way home, he spotted a nun walking down the road. After looking at her for a moment, he ran over, tackled her and proceeded to beat her up. Some people passing by spotted this and called the police. As the police were pulling him away in handcuffs he looked back and said, "Hell, I thought you'd be tougher than that, Batman."
Love this one!!!
5/5
__________________
"To bear what must be bourne...."
BABIES
A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines. The son turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Your mother can explain it to you."
HAhaha this is the best one
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Location: Cola, South Carolina MoFo Status: Teh Black
Posts: 2,641
good stuff I especially like the beating up batman one 5 outta 5
__________________ Hendrix
"Have you heard of the chain of command? It's the chain I beat you with until you realize that I'm in command" - Firefly, Jayne. Affirmative Action MoFo
Signature edited to please Scoot
POLISH SAUSAGE
A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I'd like some Polish sausage." The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Would you, huh? Would you?" The clerk says sheepishly, "Well, no." The guy says, "Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish when I ask for Polish sausage?" The clerk replies, "Because this is Home Depot."
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