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Old Jan 6th, 2004, 01:03 PM   #1 (permalink)
Kalel
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What we Learn about porn

1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a women off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy lays.
11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushesthe boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your dick in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patients dicks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's dick, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a dick there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

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Old Jan 6th, 2004, 01:09 PM   #2 (permalink)
krylonkoopaa
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haha! good shit


number 30 rocks
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hot chicks aren't going to be like...."hey i think i'm tired of these buffed guys on stage with big dicks and shaved balls...but wow, check out that fat balding nerd with hair coming out of his turtleneck sitting in the corner there...mmmmm"
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Old Jan 6th, 2004, 01:11 PM   #3 (permalink)
Kalel
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26 was hilarious when i first read it
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Old Jan 6th, 2004, 01:15 PM   #4 (permalink)
krylonkoopaa
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right. right I used to watch mad porn when I was young. The first time I did it I felt let down by the real thing it wasnt as cool as porn. It was akward and lasted all of 30 seconds
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hot chicks aren't going to be like...."hey i think i'm tired of these buffed guys on stage with big dicks and shaved balls...but wow, check out that fat balding nerd with hair coming out of his turtleneck sitting in the corner there...mmmmm"
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Old Jan 6th, 2004, 01:41 PM   #5 (permalink)
Kalel
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first time is akward but damn 30 seconds?
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Old Jan 6th, 2004, 01:43 PM   #6 (permalink)
krylonkoopaa
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so what I was 13 and I didnt last long
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hot chicks aren't going to be like...."hey i think i'm tired of these buffed guys on stage with big dicks and shaved balls...but wow, check out that fat balding nerd with hair coming out of his turtleneck sitting in the corner there...mmmmm"
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Old Jan 6th, 2004, 01:47 PM   #7 (permalink)
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i would have atleast said 45 secs
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Old Jan 6th, 2004, 02:06 PM   #8 (permalink)
Token Moron
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30 seconds= PWN3D
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Old Jan 6th, 2004, 08:58 PM   #9 (permalink)
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^^^ lol
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Old Jan 6th, 2004, 10:31 PM   #10 (permalink)
dry
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I liked 28... my girlfriend is always upset when she opens my pants and finds my penis... I dont get it.
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Old Jan 6th, 2004, 10:36 PM   #11 (permalink)
drift240sxdragqueen
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lol! ^^^
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And the rest of you bitches who do nothing but lick each others anus's and high five your retarded flame posts can all go suck a dick, I'm done with this cracker forum.
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Old Jan 6th, 2004, 10:44 PM   #12 (permalink)
Dan-zig
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DryBoy
I liked 28... my girlfriend is always upset when she opens my pants and finds my penis... I dont get it.

maybe because its hard to find
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Old Jan 7th, 2004, 12:05 AM   #13 (permalink)
sethwas
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this thread rulez

Seth
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my signature is at the bottom of this thread. its because its too long. Lots of important links there.
http://www.nissanforums.com/showthread.php?t=46259
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Old Jan 7th, 2004, 01:07 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krylonkoopa
right. right I used to watch mad porn when I was young. The first time I did it I felt let down by the real thing it wasnt as cool as porn. It was akward and lasted all of 30 seconds

so howd you last 30 seconds, i should get some pointers
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pssst yo token . your not black any more...there is no man
Hayabusa! MoFo 4 life!!! the I'll buy your daughter moFo
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Old Jan 7th, 2004, 12:15 PM   #15 (permalink)
Kalel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dan-zig
maybe because its hard to find
lol
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