This is long so if you dont have patience dont read!
In the middle of the desert a white guy is driving down the road. He sees a hotel and is really tired so he stops. He tells the man at the desk "I want a room" the other man says "we only have 1 and its haunted" the white guy says "its okay i'll take it" so the guy walks into his room and falls asleep. After about 10 min the most beautiful perfect woman walks out from the closet, wakes the white guy up and they start havin sex, but everytime the woman gets a orgasm her horns pop-out cuz shes the devil. Now they have sex for about 5 min, the woman gets her orgasm, her horns pop-out, and the white guy gets scared and takes off. The next night same road but a black guy. He stop at the hotel and says to the other man "I need a room" the other man says "we only have 1 and its haunted" the black guy says "its okay i'll take it." So he walks up to the room and falls asleep. Again after 10 min the woman comes out again, so they start having sex. She gets her orgasm once again and her horns pop-out, then the black guy freaks out and takes off. Next night a mexican is driving down the same road and stops at the same hotel. Says to the other man"I need a room" the other man says "we only haved 1 and its haunted" the mexican guy says "its okay i'll take it." So he walks up to his room and falls asleep. And surely enough the woman comes out again after 10 min, wakes up the mexican guy and they start having sex. As they have sex she gets her orgasm and her horns pop-out and the mexican guy says (in a gangster accent) "ODALEH HANDLE BARS!"
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hot chicks aren't going to be like...."hey i think i'm tired of these buffed guys on stage with big dicks and shaved balls...but wow, check out that fat balding nerd with hair coming out of his turtleneck sitting in the corner there...mmmmm"
A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: “So, where y’all from?”
The girl from New York said: “From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.”
The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: “So, where y’all from, BITCH?”
The manager of a general store is teaching a new kid how to sell customers more than they actually need. “I’ll show you what I mean,” he whispers as a guy walks in asking for lawn seed.
“Here you go,” says the manager.
“And you’ll be wanting a lawn mower, right?”
“Why’s that?” the guy asks.
“You’ll need to cut the grass after the seeds grow.”
Amazingly, the guy buys one. When another man enters and asks for a pack of Tampax, the manager winks at the boy, who says, “Of course, sir. And I suppose you’ll be needing a lawn mower?”
“Why would that be?” asks the puzzled customer.
“Well, your weekend’s fucked, so you might as well mow the lawn.”
Little Johnny returned home from school, informing his father that he received an F in arithmetic and a stern spanking.
“What happened?” asked the father.
“Well,” little Johnny said, “the teacher asked ‘How much is two times three?’ and I said ‘six.’”
“But that’s right!” said the father.
“Then,” said little Johnny, “she asked me, ‘How much is three times two?’”
“What’s the fucking difference?” asked the father.
Originally posted by OhThreeSpecV Little Johnny returned home from school, informing his father that he received an F in arithmetic and a stern spanking.
“What happened?” asked the father.
“Well,” little Johnny said, “the teacher asked ‘How much is two times three?’ and I said ‘six.’”
“But that’s right!” said the father.
“Then,” said little Johnny, “she asked me, ‘How much is three times two?’”
“What’s the fucking difference?” asked the father.
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