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Old Nov 9th, 2005, 12:01 PM   #1 (permalink)
pete2.0
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Microsoft VS GM

Microsoft vs GM

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up
with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
$25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by asingle "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7.The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
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Old Nov 9th, 2005, 12:10 PM   #2 (permalink)
psuLemon
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haha.. GM is just pissed cuz Microsoft owns the computer industry while GM is blowing nuts
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I can't wait until Hurrican Jamal sweeps up the east coast and steals the wheels and stero out of your car

Last edited by psuLemon : Nov 9th, 2005 at 01:03 PM.
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Old Nov 9th, 2005, 12:23 PM   #3 (permalink)
Jeff
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Quote:
Originally Posted by psuLemon
haha.. GM is just pissed cuz Microsoft owns the computer industry while GM is blowing nuts
haha.. you do realize this was a joke and didn't actually happen?
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Old Nov 9th, 2005, 12:40 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I'd still rather have the $25 car that gets 1000mpg.
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Old Nov 9th, 2005, 12:50 PM   #5 (permalink)
Bumpin
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Yeah, that is pretty funny.
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Old Nov 9th, 2005, 01:03 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrEous
haha.. you do realize this was a joke and didn't actually happen?
yes, maybe i should have used a
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I can't wait until Hurrican Jamal sweeps up the east coast and steals the wheels and stero out of your car
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Old Nov 9th, 2005, 01:55 PM   #7 (permalink)
Teh00Alty
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bumpin
i agreex2

lol
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Old Nov 9th, 2005, 03:01 PM   #8 (permalink)
Hendrix
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bumpin
it's in syndication now
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Old Nov 9th, 2005, 04:00 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by psuLemon
haha.. GM is just pissed cuz Microsoft owns the computer industry while GM is blowing nuts
This is so old it was written long before GM took a nose dive.
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Old Nov 9th, 2005, 04:21 PM   #10 (permalink)
dry
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I think this joke was first told by og.

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Old Nov 10th, 2005, 10:26 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Welcome to t3h 90s OMG......
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Old Nov 10th, 2005, 09:39 PM   #12 (permalink)
Vin Diesel
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VinDiesel sees a psulemowned in his rearview mirror!
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