Originally Posted by Token

A Christmas Story
>
> 'Twas the night before Christmas -- Old Santa was pissed.
> He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
> Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
> I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
>
> I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
> Instead of 'Thanks Santa,' what do I hear?
> The old lady bitches 'cause I work late at night.
> The elves want more money; the reindeer all fight.
>
> Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
> Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
> And just when I thought that things would get better,
> Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter.
> They say I owe taxes -- if that ain't damn funny.
> Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
>
> And the kids these days, they all are the pits.
> They want the impossible, those mean little shits.
> I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds,
> Assembling dolls -- their arms, legs and heads.
> I made a ton of yo-yos -- no request for them,
> They want computers and robots: They think I'm IBM!
>
> Flying through the air, dodging the trees,
> Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees.
> I'm quitting this job; there's just no enjoyment,
> I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
>
> There's no Christmas this year; now you know the reason,
> I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season